#40 The Perfect Christmas Tree

                The perfect Christmas tree – a concept that strikes terror in the hearts of otherwise fearless people. When thinking of Christmas trees, the madman’s memories drift back to his childhood. His dad would load the young madman and his sister into the family Buick for a tour of Christmas tree lots. The goal? – to find the perfect Christmas tree.

Memories of Trees Past

                The first was too fat. The next was to skinny. Then too tall, too short, too crooked followed in quick succession. Often, the Buick would return with two trees. Why two you may ask? One was the Christmas tree, the other the fill. The madman’s mother never seemed to be happy with any tree so branches were snipped from the fill tree to attach to the Christmas tree. The result would be as close to perfect as the combined forces of nature and the madman’s dad could create.

                My family never went to such heroic efforts to create this perfect Christmas tree. We just drove all over creation until the perfect tree presented itself to us. Usually this was an illusion brought on by a combination of hunger, fatigue and boredom. I’m sure the backseat fights hastened the selection.

The Perfect Christmas Tree

However our families went about getting the Christmas tree, the end result was the same; a perfect Christmas tree.

If you ask the madman today he will tell you the perfect Christmas tree does not exist in the wild, but it took him many years to reach this conclusion. Remembering what his poor father used to go through, he was actually terrified by the thought of having to select a tree.

The Ancients Used Evergreen Boughs

So, why do even have Christmas trees in the first place? The decorated evergreen tree has become a symbol of Christmas. We can thank ancient civilizations for introducing us to this idea. It all stems from the Winter Solstice. We don’t have to tell you the days are getting shorter and this trend will continue until Dec. 21, the Winter Solstice, a point on the Druid Wheel of the Year known as Yule. On this day, we will have 9 hours and 8 minutes of daylight according to the Old Farmer’s Almanac (at your location, the numbers may vary so check it out). By the way, we would have sent you to the US Naval Observatory, but the data on their website is undergoing modernization and won’t be available until April 2020.

The ancients knew that after this point, the days would be getting longer again and the earth would break out of its barren state. They brought evergreen boughs into homes to symbolize the coming rebirth of the land. The ancient Romans also used evergreen boughs to mark the Winter Solstice during their celebration of Saturnalia. This was their biggest holiday of the year because the Romans knew that their farms, orchards and vineyards would soon become green again. It was customary to give presents to the children and also the poor (beginning to see the connection?).

The Tradition of the Christmas Tree

Germany is credited with starting the tradition of the Christmas tree as we know it today. Instead of the pagan boughs, Christians brought whole trees into their houses to decorate mostly with edible ornaments. According to legend, Martin Luther was so awed by the sight of stars twinkling through the evergreens that he wired candles to a tree in his home to recapture the beauty.

As you can imagine, open flames and dying evergreen branches don’t mix very well, but that didn’t stop the Germans from bringing this tradition to the United States. Interestingly it was Thomas Edison who actually came up with the first strands of electric lights – he even offered to rent them to those who could not afford them. After burning down their fair share of houses with open candles, Americans finally adopted Edison’s idea of strands of electric lights. This invention probably kept the Christmas tree from being outlawed again (remember the Puritans, they didn’t like anything fun and banned the practice in early Massachusetts).

The Madman Goes Hunting

So with these traditions behind us, every year at this time the madman and I are tasked with finding the perfect Christmas tree. Early on, our tree buying was difficult. The madman, being the ultimate non-shopper, wanted to buy the first tree we saw. I was a bit more discriminating and dragged him to a few places before I noticed the impending meltdown. I realized that I had better make a selection or we would go home with none. As it turned out, the tree we got was perfect – we both said so.

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Our Changing Traditions

The birth of our first son changed our tree buying habits. And, fortunately for us, the farmer down the street sold Christmas trees. We could walk there so we packed Chris in his red wagon or a sled (if it snowed) and trudged over. We always found a tree at Vito’s, and because we were neighbors he delivered it. Christmas tree stress was lessened. But, progress moved on and the farm was sold to a developer. Houses were built and Vito left.

About the same time, our second son was born and the madman discovered a sign on the way to the lake that read “Ed’s Tree Farm.” The first sign was soon joined by a second that read “Open the day after Thanksgiving 10-4…”  Worth a try. That year, the day after Thanksgiving we took Chris and Mike out to the tree farm. We had a great time, found our perfect Christmas tree and a new tradition was born.

Ed’s Tree Farm

Ed had a ton of perfect Christmas trees of all types. He spent his summers pruning, shaping and watering, giving them TLC. For every tree he cut down, he planted a new one. Over the years he got to know us and it was such a pleasant experience that the madman no longer dreaded Christmas tree shopping. But, as with all of us, Ed began to age and slowed down. His trees no longer received the attention he had given them over the past 30 years. This fall, we noticed that his “Open the day after Thanksgiving…” sign did not appear.

The Accidental Christmas Tree

We fretted over what we would do for a Christmas tree. Sure, there are plenty of other Christmas tree farms, but after 30+ years of Ed’s trees we weren’t comfortable going elsewhere. Then, the madman discovered a white spruce that he had planted in a metal pail many years ago. It had somehow been separated from his conifer collection and was happily growing unnoticed behind a Dogwood tree. He asked me if I thought we could use it this year, fully expecting me to say, “No way!” It wasn’t perfect, but I thought of what the madman always said, “There is no perfect Christmas tree in the wild.” When I reminded him of that, he smiled. So this year we are trying something different.

Instead of putting up our tree right after Thanksgiving we are going to wait until closer to Christmas to bring in our live tree. In the meantime, we are still decorating around the space where our new perfect Christmas tree will go.

I hear the strains of a Celtic Christmas harp, so I guess it’s time to start decorating. We’ll decorate a bit, then stop for a cup of hot cocoa with a candy cane stirrer.

May your tree be perfect, along with your holiday.